When people talk about ‘lasting longer’ in bed, they are usually referring to the length of time penetrative sex lasts from the point of entry until climax. This is measured by the time it takes for a man to ejaculate, or ‘come’.
It is very common for men to want to last longer during sex, or even to worry that they ‘come’ too quickly in bed.
Wanting to last longer during sex is one of the most common desires people have around sex. This is especially common, for example, in:
Not lasting long enough is only a problem when it becomes a regular or an extreme thing.
For some men, it can be a medical issue. Premature ejaculation (PE) is when a man ejaculates ‘too quickly’ during sex, and is one of the most common sexual problems in men. However, it’s important to remember that premature ejaculation is only defined as such when the length of time before climax becomes a significant problem for either your or your partner. PE is usually only temporary and there are a number of treatment options available.
With help, most men will learn to identify the point of climax during sex so that they can better control it, and last longer.
There is no fixed definition for how long you should or shouldn’t be lasting in bed. A happy and healthy sex life depends on finding a realistic balance between the time both you and your partner want to last before climax.
The NHS Choices website says: ‘A study looking at 500 couples from five different countries found that the average time between a man putting his penis into his partner’s vagina and ejaculation was around five-and-a-half minutes.’
However, the important thing is you and your partner are both sexually satisfied.
If you are trying to last longer in bed, there are several things you can try. Here are a list of tips and techniques for both you and your partner. As with anything in sex, dialogue is key: make sure to involve your partner along the way.
For both partners:
If you’ve tried these tips and techniques, and you’re still not lasting as long as you’d like during sex, there are a number of treatment options that could help.
These medical treatment options are only recommended for men who have been diagnosed with premature ejaculation (PE). If you are concerned about how long you’re lasting during sex, discuss your concerns with your local nurse or doctor. They will be able to recommend the most suitable form of treatment for your situation.
Medical treatments might include:
If the length of time you last during sex is a problem for either you or your partner(s), and it’s not being helped by either physical techniques or medical treatments, you might want to try counselling.
Counselling or couples therapy can be very helpful when there is a psychological root cause to your sexual problems. During your sessions, your therapist will be able to help you identify and work on any issues you might have around sex, or any underlying problems in your relationship.
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